More of the frank discussion about adoption

So, I said I would talk a little more about the question Rosie asked me last time, since I do have a little more to say.  I understand desperately wanting to adopt a child, but everything in marriage is a dance, and both dancers have to be on the dance floor.  Even more than just the adopting, is the actual raising of the child, and it's not that fun to do it alone.  When a married couple works together to accomplish something, there's no feeling like it in the world.  You think you can conquer the world.  When you're not together on something it feels exactly the opposite, like everything can conquer you.

So, everyone around you can be criticizing your decision, and giving dire warnings, and it doesn't matter when you're together on it.  I will admit that we got more resistance than I expected from our teens, but teens can use all the sacrificing they can get, and they'll be better for it.  They never think so at the time, but they always thank you later.  Best to keep the big picture in mind.  However, your spouse must be in agreement with you.

I think we need to mention the power of prayer here, and it's the most important thing you've got if you have a resistant spouse.  Some people will say, "That's what everyone says--all you can do is pray!"  However, I would say, the best you can do is pray!  If you truly believe in God, and in his miraculous power, and if you've ever seen him at work, against all odds, then how can you discount the power of prayer?  If you're asking the creator of the universe for something, then you have to be aware that you're asking someone very big to grant your request.  Can he do it?  Yes, absolutely.  Will he?  Different answer:  He may.  And, don't you remember that he created us all with free will?  He won't force someone to do something they don't want to do, even if it's a really good thing.  It's still our choice.  It's so hard to accept someone else's choices sometimes, especially if they're tied up with our lives and our choices.  Accepting things with grace is a handy skill.  Finding another way to be obedient to God is essential.  It's just not going to happen that everyone will be able to adopt, that is just fact, but there are so many other ways to help orphans.

I did help orphans all those years that I wished and hoped, and sometimes prayed, but I could have done so much more.  I often look back in my life, and say, "Why didn't I seize that opportunity back then?"  I think I was often selfish, though, in my motives and actions.

Then suddenly, over twenty years later, the doors just suddenly started opening, and we started walking through them.  Not in an easy way, because we still had to jump through hoops, and work really hard to get to each door, and sometimes the door didn't open until the very last minute, and sometimes the door stood open in the distance for a long time before we were able to get to it, and sometimes we had to stand in front of the door, and wait for what seemed forever, but eventually every door opened, and we walked through each one, until we walked through our own front door, heaved a big sigh of relief, gave the newbies a big hug, and called them our own.